Listen up all you pregnant ladies… think twice before sticking your man at the business end during labour
Written on April 23, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Bonding at what cost?
This is one for all the pregnant ladies out there; I don’t mean to be too blunt, but we need to have a pretty frank conversation. And nobody else is going to have it with you, so here goes;
How have you pictured your labour? OK, specifically, where is your husband or boyfriend going to be situated during the process of bringing your precious baby into the world? Is he going to be the welcoming party ready to say g’day to the little emerging face? I want you to think about it carefully. Because lots of guys feel pressured to hang around at the business end of your body to usher his new offspring into its mum’s arms. And that might not be the best spot for poor dad.
Once down at ground zero he is likely to see his Holy of Holies, the temple of love where he used to worship being stretched into a grotesque and very large hole; possibly it will rip in a less than sexy way; chances are that mum will be adroit at pushing and push out a little poo as well, with or without some brand new shiny haemorrhoids; and the sight of a crowning head ain’t no aphrodisiac. The problem with seeing a birth is that once seen, it can’t be unseen and seeing it is often extremely traumatic.
No matter how extreme the joy of holding his precious, living, breathing baby in his arms for the first time and hearing his healthy cry fill the room, in the weeks and months after the birth, the vision of the vagina in full flight doing what nature intended can haunt men and kill their once thumping desire for you.
Right now, having your husband panting for your love might not be top of your agenda. But you and your baby need a strong partnership at the rock hard foundations of your new family. And your relationship with the father of your child, including your sexual relationship, will be the glue that holds your little family together.
I have no way of predicting who will adore the sight of an emerging baby and who will faint at the sheer ugliness of it all. But before everyone just assumes that ‘he’ll be right, mate’, it might be worth having the conversation that gives him permission to take up a tactical position at the human end of the process, holding your hand and kissing your forehead, instead of base camp watching it all unfold.
Good luck with it all!
